Pen Reel
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Sleepness night into working day. Care to read & Critique away?
Wrestling myself into a heavy slumber
dreams avoiding their job no longer
I've sighted my focus on lesser things
till damn, that stupid clock does ring
Unfurl myself for another day
caffeined all up, I want to play
work keeps reeling me harshly in
not letting me pick up a pen
Tempting paper begging me
come drop some ink, oh pretty please
wet my lines with purple attire
come on baby, light my fire
Quiet paper! I can not write
my brain's too tired from my sleepless night
I've got to get back to work today
because, of course, I have bills to pay
Applause ... WOO HOO!
I am so impressed.
I get the impression you'd rather write than go to work.
If that was the intention you said it in a most poetic way.
As I read it over and over it's missing a bit of clarity ... this is not necessarily a bad thing as poetry may be most effective leaving interpretation to the imagination.
It's quite good. If you wanted to define what your intention was (assuming you wrote this) I may be better able to help. I've written some poetry in my time but I don't have the flair for the kind of color that leads to multiple interpretations.
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20090626201614AAFwDq0
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